Betrayal Essay Intro

Over the past few years, I have gained much knowledge about betrayal. I have come to believe that it is close to the worst thing that people can do to each other (besides murder), and it’s something that happens more and more as one grows older. By definition, betrayal can mean to be unfaithful, to deliver something to an enemy by treachery, or to desert a person in the time of need. Obviously, this can tell a person a couple of things. First of all, betrayal is a broad “subject,” and secondly, it is downright malicious.

The first example of betrayal that I have given is to be unfaithful. In my eyes, this is probably the worst form of betrayal. I think this because I have been cheated on and I know that the feeling one gets when he or she finds out about the affair is absolutely heart wrenching. At first, I went to pieces when I found out, but then I got over it and I forgave my boyfriend (at that time). Big mistake. He never stopped lying to me, and to this day he still does ,even though we aren’t together anymore. I guess I should have thought twice and listened to the popular saying “Once a cheater, always a cheater.”

The next example that I choose to represent betrayal was to deliver something to an enemy by treachery. Many people have experienced this, but the largest upset was most likely when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor. The Japanese government was trying to side with the Germans during World War II. The Japanese told the United States that they would not do anything, but then they bombed us, leaving our country open for anything that could come our way from the Germans. I think that is betrayal because the Japanese lied to our country. Although, I guess things turned out for the better in the end; our economy went up slightly and the Japanese were avenged…twice.

My last example of betrayal is to desert a person in the time of need. I believe that this instance is best depicted in “Hamlet,” a play by William Shakespeare. Prince Hamlet’s mother, uncle, and friends all desert him in his time of need, which was after his father’s death. This may sound quite confusing, but Claudius (Hamlet’s uncle) killed Hamlet’s father. Not even a month after the father’s death, Claudius and Queen Gertrude (Hamlet’s mother) are joined in wedlock. Nobody thought that Hamlet was sane because of everything that had happened to him. His friend’s weren’t very true to him and his mother wouldn’t believe that Claudius killed his father. For those reasons, I feel that everyone betrayed Hamlet in the sense that they deserted him in his special time of need.

As one can see, betrayal is a harshly wounding action. It can leave an imprint on a person’s heart for many years and it can also make them lose trust in loved ones. To be betrayed is to be completely deceived, and that is a hard thing to endure. I say this because I know it. It has happened to me and I will never forget it, but I have definitely overcome the pain.


3 Sentences (suggested minimum)
First sentence introduces the topic
Second sentence identifies the author and novel
Third sentence states the thesis


2 paragraphs (suggested minimum)
Each paragraph based on one aspect of the thesis
Paragraphs linked to one another with a connecting word or phrase (transition)
Paragraphs written in formal analytical style
Paragraphs follow the pattern:

Proof #1
-topic sentence
-sentence of supporting detail
-example from the novel
-sentence of elaboration

Proof #2
-sentence of supporting detail
-example from the novel
-sentence of elaboration

Proof #3
-sentence of supporting detail
-example from the novel
-sentence of elaboration
-concluding sentence


3 or 4 sentences (suggested minimum)
First sentence restates the thesis in an interesting and different fashion
Second/third sentence(s) summarises the arguments
Final sentence presents the writer’s final thoughts on the thesis


The introduction of an essay begins with a universal or general statement about the broad topic that you will write about.  It does NOT contain ANY statement about the particular novel that you will write about.  The second sentence is a further development/explanation of this universal statement.  It narrows the idea of the universal statement into a specific novel.  Thus, you should include the name of the novel and the name of the author in this sentence.  This may be more than one sentence.  The last sentence is called the THESIS.  It is the specific point that you want to prove.  It is in this sentence that you name the characters or specific idea of the novel that you will prove in the essay.  Your ENTIRE essay will be judged against this sentence and how well you prove the point.

Example: (Universal/General Statement)  Friendship is a wonderful part of life, but it can unfortunately be used as a tool of deception.  (Expansion of universal statement including author and title of work)  In William Shakespeare’s play, Julius Caesar, there are characters who use flattery as a means of manipulating others.  (Thesis)  Both Brutus and Antony operate under the guise of friendship in order to betray and manipulate others for their own purposes.

Analysis of Introduction
The universal topic is friendship.  The idea of friendship is developed in the second sentence by using the words “flattery” and “manipulating others”.  Notice that the title and author are included, by not any character’s name.  The thesis continues to narrow this topic by introducing specific characters.

To come up with a universal sentence, you may consider the answers to questions such as:

What is the definition of my topic? (e.g. friendship)
When does it occur?
How does it occur?
Why does it occur?

A combination of these answers may help you develop a proper universal statement for your essay.


The body of your essay will consist of two analytical paragraphs.  Each paragraph will prove a point of the thesis.  Always begin the first paragraph with the first point/character mentioned in the thesis.  In this case, you should begin your paragraph with a discussion on BRUTUS because he is a) listed before Antony in the thesis, and b) the hero/protagonist.

Paragraph #1 of the BODY
This paragraph must begin with a topic sentence related to the thesis and to Brutus.  It will show how Brutus uses flattery and friendship to betray/deceive others to his own end.  This idea will be expanded on by a detail from the play (or book), followed by an embedded quotation (with page number). This in turn will be followed by an explanation of the quotation.  REPEAT this TWO more times.  After your third explanation, write a concluding sentence to sum up this paragraph.  This means you must have a topic sentence, three details (proofs), three embedded quotations, three explanations of quotations, and a concluding sentence.  The concluding sentence must sum up the ideas in this paragraph, but also reflect the ideas of the thesis.

Paragraph #2
The topic sentence begins with a transitional word or phrase that connects par. 1 with par. 2.  The point of the second paragraph should be about how Antony also uses his friendships to betray or manipulate others.  Follow the same structure as par. 1.

Example: (Transitional word/phrase)  Similar to Brutus, Antony also uses his friendship with others as a tool of manipulation and deceit to further his own means.


The conclusion is written from the specific idea to the broad idea.  Start with a re-statement of the idea of the thesis and then expand more broadly to a general statement about the topic.

1.Begin with a transitional word/phrase and rewrite the idea of the thesis
2.BRIEFLY summarize your arguments (body par.)
3.End with a sentence that presents your final thoughts about the topic


Use transitional words/phrases in your writing (makes your writing smooth rather than choppy)
ALWAYS embed your quotations (no floating quotations)
The most important step is: edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, edit, and edit again!!!!!!!!!!!!

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